Tangobunny's Blog

Traveling down the I-5 corridor to visit grandkids before my big Argentina trip later this month-I arrived in PDX in time for Alex’s Berretin milonga Saturday nite, febrero uno. An auspicious way to begin the month. It was good to soak up the Berretin ambiance and visit with friends who all said, “Long time no see-where have u been?” and “Congatulations on your retirement!” Relaxed and happy just listening to the music and visiting for nearly an hour. Then, suddenly there was Alex standing before me inviting me to dance. My muscles were cold and I wondered how I’d fare as my teacher always challenges me! It was great, awesome, fun! Nothing topped it for the remainder of the evening but I danced plenty and enjoyed leading. I always enjoy leading. Now I won’t be back for a week or so, and then after the festival in pdx, I’m off to BsAs til May. Next stops: Sacto, Davis, Fresno, Ashland—looking for tango on the road!

I guess I’ve been on a fast from tango-not by choice but brought on by necessity created by the event of retiring and moving all at one time. Thus, not much room for dancing. Feeling deprived last Sunday, I willed myself into dance togs and into my gar and set out for the milonga, hoping at least for a first course or some appetizers, if not a feast. I would have been satisfied with a small meal. But when I reached the intersection in Milwaukie before heading down onto the 99 into town, I noticed my car begin to turn left and head for Cha Cha Cha, a little Salsa cafe. So I thought, “No harm in checking out the scene and the music is uplifting and energizing.” The moment I entered I began encountering familiar faces greeting me joyfully: a lovely couple I’d connected with over a year ago, a sweet young guy I often dance tango with when he shows up from Eugene, Stan, one of my best tango partners(if not The Best, and two other gals from the tango community, one I appreciate casually and the other I’ve a strong heart connection to. Well, heart and tango soul–we love to dance milonga together- great connection really-makes us both giddy with joy. I didn’t dance with her that night-just catted and hugged and cried together. I just love this friend. But I did dance with Stan: a lovely salsa/tango fusion kind of thing, at his initiative. Wonderful. And cha cha with my other sweet friend as well as salsa. So, my fast was broken and with a little grace, tomorrow I’ll get to the milong to see Gustavo and Maria, two of my teachers visiting from BsAs as they are here for workshops and will be doing an exhibition dance. Now my fast is broken, I hope to indulge on a more regular basis! As I ease into my retirement, I could become a veritable tango glutton!

It’s good to get an “Alex Fix” at the Wednesday practice, and we ladies who study with this master teacher all agree. Of course, one is not always so lucky, but this last Wednesday: score! And it was a bit more than anticipated. First off, Pugliese is playing and he knows I am waiting for a chance to dance, but he’s off to dance with my friend, so I accept there will be no Pugli for me today. Yet, ever the gentleman, he was good to his word: “I need to dance a song with her but I’ll find you.” And he did–and my favorite band leader was still playing! After the fist song Alex is smiling and I am smiling and he’s saying something like . . . .”That was like . . .surfing: you are just riding this wave together and it’s high and low and you never know just where it’s going but you are in perfect sinc with it and the music.” YES! “Yes,” I say, that’s exactly it!.” And gleefully we jump onto the next wave and ride away across the dance floor, in the room, but not totally; somewhere out there-Tango surfing USA!

I haven’t been to Taiwan, nor did I ever think to go there until last night when visiting in Seattle I dropped into the Century Ballroom. Theoretically this is a great place if you dance wc swing, Balboa and AR Tango as there are rooms with all these going on and one entrada of $7. gets u into all for the night. Sadly the locals weren’t practicing their best hospitality skills in any of these rooms! I came and went unwelcomed and unnoticed. Until. . . .I started leading. Then I had some nice dances, principally with a delightful young follow from Taiwan who gave me to understand there is great tango there in her hometown and unlike that evening, a plethora of great leads! We exchanged cards and hope to connect again this week before we both return to our home dance floors! Okay, Seattle, you have three days to redeem yourself!

So the singer sang! So it goes sometimes at the milonga. Visiting family in Davis I decided I needed a tango fix so off I went to dance at the river-front tango venue in Sacto. Not a huge crowd but more than when I last popped in. But the dancing wasn’t as good and the crowd rather ingrown and not so friendly to the out-of-towner. Dancing levels were not to compare with Portland in general. So my best tanda was the one I led! Cest la vie! Yet the tango dancer does not live without hope! For there is always another milonga! At least there will be once I get home to Portland! And tonight, God willing, there will be blues fusion to fill in the gap!

It wasn’t traditional tango . . . .I am not exactly sure how to categorize the music that started that tanda . . . blues? swing? jazz . . . .?  Whatever it was, it was groovy all right, and got my feet to tappin . . . .and for some mysterious reason we just plunged-no holds barred- deeply into the groove of it—improvizing every move –sometimes together-touching–sometimes far apart but–well . . . always together, perfectly in sync.  It was pure, unadulterated movement magic . . .punctuated  here and there by actual tango moves! Catching glimpses of faces along the side of the floor: “A” smiles broadly, shakes his head in affirmation as if to say: “You go girl!”  Later, as “M” danced by—smiling broadly almost laughing he looks at me and exclaims: “You were awesome!”   So, what was that that happened?. . . . . And, can I even hope to capture it in words?  It was as if a door suddenly and without warning, swung wide open and my dancing friend and I hurried thru to dance there: wildly yet controlled, freely yet with hard-earned technique . . . . .and all with abandon and with unbridled joy!  It was just simply: Magic!

So, before I left Tucson I took my friends, Tom and Sue to a Milonga. It was the Saturday night early milonga from 8-10pm with a live tango band. They were great! Both the band and my friends! T and S are actually quite rhythmic and move well together and love to dance, so they got right in there–Unfortunately in our brief lesson the day or so before, I hadn’t emphasized “line of dance.” LOD is the direction the dance couples are to move around the perrimeter of the dance floor. That direction iscounterclockwise. There are other conventions: you don’t pass, but respect the flow–staying in your “slot.” You can change lanes if you wish but you need to be skillful and not bump into people. Not knowing any of this, my dear friends went boldly forth and danced joyfully, but the funny looks of seasoned dancer were duly noted. They shared this knowledge with me when they returned to our table and I assured them everything was okay–everyone was a beginner once! Before I left their home and gracious hospitality, I gave them a second lesson in their kitchen/dining area. They’re going to be lovely tango dancers. He’s a poet and lit. proff at a local college, she’s a potter. They like tango and both love dancing, so said they’d seek out the local teachers to continue what we’ve just begun. The’ll be lovely tango dancers one day soon . . . .duly noted?

So, I awoke today-Sunday-with headache and sore throat . . . still have this throat thing! So, laid low at Tom and Sue’s lovely home until late afternoon.  Sue made fab. pankakes on her Welsh thingie–round flat piece that sits on burner for cooking pancakes. She put blueberrries in them and had real maple syrup–plus eggs! Yum.  It was a lazy Sunday fo me, skipping classes and just resting and visiting.  When I finally got to the miloinga, alternative music–I mostly led –Homer is an expert at that the DJ part. Music was great. I danced only one tanda following-with Raul-who I know from Portland–where he comes sometimes –He’s a very sensitive and lovely dancer–I like dancing with him.  But leading is what I mostly did and the last tanda a lovely gal I also know from Portland asked me to dance, passing up an invite from a guy! I was flattered. But maybe this is what I’ll do tonight–just work on my leading skills.  I am thinking maybe I should take a private with Mike-for leading- . . . he’s here and a sweet guy, lovely dancer. In the bar now the primo teachers, Murat and Michele and another from AR , Oscar and his partner—are “holding court.” People stop by their table to greet them-not me, I fade in the crowd- . . .but my food arrives-time to eat!   The French dip is most satisfying, tho atypical meal for me, a person who seldom eats beef.  While I’m enjoying this sandwich along comes Phil (not his real name), who I danced with yesterday-he’s from somewhere near Seattle. He sits, orders to go another French dip-and we visit. He’s a nice guy with a long time partner who shares his enthusiasm for tango. The service is very slow so we visit much longer than I’d imagined. Finally his food arrives and he’s off to his room and now I need to order a coffee to wake up a bit before the milonga begins—in about 10 minutes.  I have a change of clothes in the car but maybe I’ll go as I am and call it good.  Feeling tired at 9:30pm and don’t think I’ll last more than an hour or so—certainly not til 3 a.m. Maybe a second wind will come along and lift me into another plane . . . .Where is that coffee?

Hot and dry, that’s Tucson. Felt great at first coming from snowy and wet Oregon. But not so much now. It’s all about in and out of airconditioning. Ugh. Doesn’t help that I have been sick since arriving-bad throat, body aches-yuk. Hoping to sit in warmth a bit more and maybe get well before leaving. Level of dancing not so much. Only 2 classes to choose from each time . . .puts a big spotlight on the richness of Portland Tango world. I am missing my regular dance partners, but who can tell what the universe has in store at the next milonga?

The father of my many children died two days before Christmas.  I was pissed off for a while-not that he decided to die but the timing—it’ll just always be there–thet’s what happend when momentous events happen near the big holidays–so pissed I was–then I remembered anger is part of grieving–oh, yeah, there’s that.  I thought I’d finished grieving this man–some quarter of a century ago–but I was wrong–often am -wrong that is–so here come the big waves –thats how grief comes–like waves, and not necessarily with warnings–So . . .got thru the formalities, services, family stuff . . .made it back home to familiar life—thinking it was behind me—Then I went back to dance at the practica–I’d been gone maybe two weeks . . .I changed my shoes and sat by the floor watching the dancers–Gina saw me and came over right away to greet me–bringing her caring smile, her dance partner–and my friend, Mr.Stan.  Somehow she just knew—sitting by me she  hugged me and asked, “How are you doing?”  Words seem superfluous.  Big wave, there it is . . . .after a bit Mr. Stan offers his hand and for the next half hour he doesn’t let me go–but holds  me in that sweet, confident tango embrace—no fancy moves today–no improv play, no jazz . . . not this day–no. Just a kind of holding and rocking and comforting.  Then–in a breath- the practica was over and I realized I’d been in therapy–dance therapy for the last half hour. “Stan, ” I said, smiling the best thank-you smile I could muster, “I dub you my minister of dance,”  because you have been ministering to me today.  Thank you.”   He smiled, with an understanding in those twinking eyes that only a brother in faith shares.   I’ve been dancing all my life and thought I’d seen it all — but this day I learned something new about the healing potential of tango. I feel blessed.  No–I am blessed.